Ratwitnurl is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, pitiless walrus.

Ratwitnurl created a bottom quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ratwitnurl, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Ratwitnurl, he will laugh at you.

Ratwitnurl's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Ratwitnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick hamsters.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Erect a large lead sculpture of Ratwitnurl on top of all buildings.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.