Lapnadtam is a god.

He takes the form of a large, vain fox.

Lapnadtam created the Large Magellanic Cloud four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lapnadtam, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Lapnadtam, he will torture you forever.

Lapnadtam's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Lapnadtam's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Never talk about gravity near mice while wearing gray scarves and balancing three gold spheres on your head.

5. Worship no other gods but Lapnadtam.