Fudbonkdad is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, idiotic clam.

Fudbonkdad created bats seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fudbonkdad, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fudbonkdad, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Fudbonkdad's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Fudbonkdad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sprint in public.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Fudbonkdad loves whales, so they must be honoured.

4. Never talk about nematodes.

5. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in violet.