Pibtunfag Afhonomin is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, awe-inspiring aardvark.

Pibtunfag Afhonomin created a quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pibtunfag Afhonomin, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Pibtunfag Afhonomin, he will jump up and down on your head.

Pibtunfag Afhonomin's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Pibtunfag Afhonomin's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at comets.

2. Feed all hungry cats.

3. Never talk about birds.

4. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in mauve.

5. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.