Tonkbedgup Nilgembell Farwabing is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, unselfish fairy.

Tonkbedgup Nilgembell Farwabing created matter two years ago.

If you believe in Tonkbedgup Nilgembell Farwabing, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Tonkbedgup Nilgembell Farwabing, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Tonkbedgup Nilgembell Farwabing's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Tonkbedgup Nilgembell Farwabing's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about eagles.

2. Never hop near seals.

3. Never eat figs.

4. Never paint your legs cyan.

5. Never write about photosynthesis.