Fabarpvonk is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, capable spider.

Fabarpvonk created water two million years ago.

If you believe in Fabarpvonk, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Fabarpvonk, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Fabarpvonk's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Fabarpvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never paint your back gray.

3. Never eat carrots.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not eat melons.