Mumyattaf is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, selfish gnu.

Mumyattaf created the cosmos four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mumyattaf, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Mumyattaf, she will manifest in front of you.

Mumyattaf's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Mumyattaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in blue.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never wear shorts.