Tofgadgof is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, ill-tempered centipede.

Tofgadgof created humanity twelve years ago.

If you believe in Tofgadgof, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tofgadgof, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Tofgadgof's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Tofgadgof's Holy Commandments

1. Put Tofgadgof first in all things.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Tofgadgof.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.