Mismatdav is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, selfish manatee.

Mismatdav created time and space nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mismatdav, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Mismatdav, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Mismatdav's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Mismatdav's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never think ill of sick ants.

4. Never talk about quantum mechanics.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.