Nutsighas Mobflangam Zoghinyogcun is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, humane gerbil.

Nutsighas Mobflangam Zoghinyogcun created the planet Saturn nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nutsighas Mobflangam Zoghinyogcun, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Nutsighas Mobflangam Zoghinyogcun, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Nutsighas Mobflangam Zoghinyogcun's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Nutsighas Mobflangam Zoghinyogcun's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never talk about optics near sharks while wearing gray rings.

4. Do not wear copper on your body.

5. Never hurt eagles.