Raplanpid is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, intelligent fish.

Raplanpid created water seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Raplanpid, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Raplanpid, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Raplanpid's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Raplanpid's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Always help bats in need.

4. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Always pray immersed in water.