Cunmadwot is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, dishonest weasel.

Cunmadwot created humanity nine million years ago.

If you believe in Cunmadwot, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Cunmadwot, he will turn you into a tree.

Cunmadwot's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Cunmadwot's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if five bats approach from the west.

2. Never feed onions to sharks while wearing tights.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Always treat snakes with great respect.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.