Mobgofxin is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, ill-tempered snake.

Mobgofxin created bats nine million years ago.

If you believe in Mobgofxin, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Mobgofxin, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Mobgofxin's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Mobgofxin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about special relativity.

2. Never feed lots of garlic to tortoises while wearing white corsets.

3. Never talk about fluid mechanics near capybaras while wearing gray scarves and balancing seven silver spheres on your hands.

4. Erect a large lead sculpture of Mobgofxin on top of all buildings.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.