Hinzenwit Tiglunten Loopdumjan is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, witty wyvern.

Hinzenwit Tiglunten Loopdumjan created matter five billion years ago.

If you believe in Hinzenwit Tiglunten Loopdumjan, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Hinzenwit Tiglunten Loopdumjan, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Hinzenwit Tiglunten Loopdumjan's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Hinzenwit Tiglunten Loopdumjan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about solid mechanics near pigs while wearing pink dresses.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Always obey Hinzenwit Tiglunten Loopdumjan's priests.

4. Always help dogs.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.