Honjonjap is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, contented cow.

Honjonjap created matter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Honjonjap, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Honjonjap, it will try to impress you with trees.

Honjonjap's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Honjonjap's Holy Commandments

1. Sheep are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Always make sure there are no sharks in a building before entering it.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not commit murder.