Zodquafcun is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, smart guinea pig.

Zodquafcun created humanity eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zodquafcun, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Zodquafcun, she will think nothing of it.

Zodquafcun's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Zodquafcun's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. You must pray to Zodquafcun nine times a day.

4. Never hurt foxes.

5. Always wear indigo.