Hapsogcat Yogkikomt is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, staggering shrew.

Hapsogcat Yogkikomt created the Milkyway two billion years ago.

If you believe in Hapsogcat Yogkikomt, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Hapsogcat Yogkikomt, he will send you a sign.

Hapsogcat Yogkikomt's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Hapsogcat Yogkikomt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Hide if six goats approach from the north.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never think ill of sick bats.

5. Erect nine iron sculptures of Hapsogcat Yogkikomt on top of important buildings.