Tagvinbod is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, weak deer.

Tagvinbod created a charm quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tagvinbod, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Tagvinbod, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Tagvinbod's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Tagvinbod's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in indigo.

2. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.

3. Always make sure there are no doves in a room before entering it.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate hamsters.

5. Do not listen to music.