Bitquagvonk Sakmabbig is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unjust owl.

Bitquagvonk Sakmabbig created humanity eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bitquagvonk Sakmabbig, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bitquagvonk Sakmabbig, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Bitquagvonk Sakmabbig's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Bitquagvonk Sakmabbig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never eat grapes.

4. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in blue.

5. Feed all hungry goats.