Cattitvab is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, self-assured pigeon.

Cattitvab created an up quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Cattitvab, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Cattitvab, he will turn you into a puffin.

Cattitvab's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Cattitvab's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never laugh in the presence of grasshopers.

3. Never talk about bacteria.

4. Never write about asteroids.

5. Never look in ponds.