Fitbastdad is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, omnipotent duck.

Fitbastdad created the Virgo Supercluster six billion years ago.

If you believe in Fitbastdad, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fitbastdad, he will not care at all.

Fitbastdad's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Fitbastdad's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if eight capybaras approach from the east.

2. Do not trade with those who eat spinach.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always help grasshopers in need.

5. Do not chop down trees.