Spagfarnvog is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, irritating deer.

Spagfarnvog created oxygen two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Spagfarnvog, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Spagfarnvog, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Spagfarnvog's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Spagfarnvog's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not commit murder.