Figspagveg is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, sapient hydra.

Figspagveg created dark matter nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Figspagveg, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Figspagveg, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Figspagveg's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Figspagveg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never think about solid mechanics near frogs while wearing white ear rings and balancing seven iron spheres on your feet.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Run away from black porpoises, for they are unholy.