Hinlabjin is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, able aardvark.

Hinlabjin created an atom eight million years ago.

If you believe in Hinlabjin, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Hinlabjin, he will turn you into a dog.

Hinlabjin's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Hinlabjin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in white.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not hurt otters.