Sinkarflan is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, all-powerful narwhal.

Sinkarflan created water two million years ago.

If you believe in Sinkarflan, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Sinkarflan, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Sinkarflan's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Sinkarflan's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your hands mauve.

2. Never think about dark energy near porpoises while wearing green tights and balancing six silver spheres on your face.

3. Never hurt goats.

4. Never eat spinach.

5. You must never eat nuts.