Lanarmrip is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, irritating walrus.

Lanarmrip created a bottom quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lanarmrip, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Lanarmrip, she will laugh at you.

Lanarmrip's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Lanarmrip's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

3. Never feed carrots to otters while wearing boots.

4. Always look after injured dogs.

5. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Lanarmrip in the centre of the settlement.