Fedkikfid is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, irritating crocodile.

Fedkikfid created silver nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Fedkikfid, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fedkikfid, it will turn you into a plant.

Fedkikfid's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Fedkikfid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep seven sharks in a large pit.

2. Hide from yellow tapirs for they are unholy.

3. Never feed corn to squirrels while wearing magenta skirts.

4. Worship no other gods but Fedkikfid.

5. Never think ill of sick manatees.