Cisspadtonk Kabyikcar is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, unsympathetic crocodile.

Cisspadtonk Kabyikcar created oxygen six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cisspadtonk Kabyikcar, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cisspadtonk Kabyikcar, he will turn you into a duck.

Cisspadtonk Kabyikcar's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Cisspadtonk Kabyikcar's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in the presence of hamsters.

2. Do not wear black clothing.

3. Hide if four great tits approach from the south.

4. You must love Cisspadtonk Kabyikcar.

5. Do not make images of living things.