Dincidbapnar is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, competent eagle.

Dincidbapnar created the universe five billion years ago.

If you believe in Dincidbapnar, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dincidbapnar, she will destroy your home planet.

Dincidbapnar's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Dincidbapnar's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

2. Never feed figs to shrews while wearing fawn rings.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Never talk about thermodynamics near rats while wearing turquoise shoes and balancing seven platinum spheres on your chest.