Satcimtail is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, narcissistic zebra.

Satcimtail created silver six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Satcimtail, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Satcimtail, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Satcimtail's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Satcimtail's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about nebulae.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not eat bread.

4. Do not laugh in public.

5. Snails are unholy and should not be approached.