Bastranbep is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, flying fairy.

Bastranbep created vertebrates two million years ago.

If you believe in Bastranbep, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bastranbep, he will destroy your home solar system.

Bastranbep's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Bastranbep's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near sharks while wearing indigo shirts and balancing seven titanium spheres on your legs.

2. Do not shave your arms.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Otters are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.