Yamfuthit is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, benevolent alligator.

Yamfuthit created a charm quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yamfuthit, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Yamfuthit, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Yamfuthit's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Yamfuthit's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick horses.

2. Learn four new languages a year.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force near grasshopers while wearing magenta shirts and balancing six platinum spheres on your neck.

5. Never talk about asteroids.