Tarpsafpop Gilminkom is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, happy meerkat.

Tarpsafpop Gilminkom created Mount Everest nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpsafpop Gilminkom, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tarpsafpop Gilminkom, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Tarpsafpop Gilminkom's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Tarpsafpop Gilminkom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear iron on your body.

2. Always help ants in need.

3. Never write about spacetime.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.