Sawlengep Cemafbegmit is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, fussy wren.

Sawlengep Cemafbegmit created tapeworms nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sawlengep Cemafbegmit, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sawlengep Cemafbegmit, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Sawlengep Cemafbegmit's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Sawlengep Cemafbegmit's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no ducks in a building before entering it.

2. Never talk about fluid mechanics near voles while wearing indigo tights and balancing four lead spheres on your arms.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Erect eight zinc sculptures of Sawlengep Cemafbegmit on top of important buildings.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.