Zigfitfud Tapbentailomin is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, tranquil cat.

Zigfitfud Tapbentailomin created a top quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Zigfitfud Tapbentailomin, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Zigfitfud Tapbentailomin, it will boil you in a big pot.

Zigfitfud Tapbentailomin's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Zigfitfud Tapbentailomin's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never feed lots of cherries to foxes while wearing mauve skirts.

3. Never think about special relativity.

4. Never feed rice to squirrels while wearing cyan kilts.

5. Do not cook food in pots.