Kapjadmig is a god.

He takes the form of a small, calm goat.

Kapjadmig created life five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kapjadmig, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Kapjadmig, he will turn you into a dog.

Kapjadmig's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Kapjadmig's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never talk about dark energy.

4. Always make sure there are no mice in a room before entering it.

5. Never think about electromagnetism.