Pitkopnul is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, blissful coyote.

Pitkopnul created Mount Everest nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Pitkopnul, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Pitkopnul, it will curse you with boils.

Pitkopnul's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Pitkopnul's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Feed all hungry dolphins.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.

5. Always pray immersed in water.