Nurl Sandcutpark is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, self-assured duck.

Nurl Sandcutpark created a charm quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurl Sandcutpark, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Nurl Sandcutpark, it will turn you into a sheep.

Nurl Sandcutpark's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Nurl Sandcutpark's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Nurl Sandcutpark.

2. Never talk about bacteria.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never paint your feet fawn.

5. Never wear mauve shorts.