Dapfadpag is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, intelligent whale.

Dapfadpag created the planet Mars four billion years ago.

If you believe in Dapfadpag, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Dapfadpag, it will boil you in a big pot.

Dapfadpag's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Dapfadpag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt tortoises.

2. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Retreat if three goats approach from the west.