Badkemzan is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, prudent fly.

Badkemzan created snails four million years ago.

If you believe in Badkemzan, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Badkemzan, he will turn you into a puffin.

Badkemzan's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Badkemzan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your legs.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Put Badkemzan first in all things.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never sing in the presence of snails.