Quat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, tranquil crab.

Quat created the universe two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quat, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Quat, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Quat's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Quat's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Quat.

2. Always make sure there are no eagles in a room before entering it.

3. Run away from turquoise shrews, for they are unholy.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

5. Never eat bananas.