Bissyarpyokmetvinlarparm is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, dishonest manatee.

Bissyarpyokmetvinlarparm created dark energy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bissyarpyokmetvinlarparm, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bissyarpyokmetvinlarparm, it will turn you into a rat.

Bissyarpyokmetvinlarparm's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Bissyarpyokmetvinlarparm's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a building before entering it.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never paint your neck green.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.