Taflangepcit is a god.

She takes the form of a large, generous manatee.

Taflangepcit created an up quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Taflangepcit, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Taflangepcit, she will turn you into a dog.

Taflangepcit's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Taflangepcit's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Never think about galaxies.