Kimzagcab is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, staggering chicken.

Kimzagcab created the Sun six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kimzagcab, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Kimzagcab, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Kimzagcab's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Kimzagcab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.

2. Do not shave your arms.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not drink water in black rooms.

5. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.