Dapsawgar is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, self-confident walrus.

Dapsawgar created a charm quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Dapsawgar, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Dapsawgar, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Dapsawgar's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Dapsawgar's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about optics near seals while wearing fawn jumpers and balancing seven copper spheres on your head.

2. Never talk about chlorophyll.

3. Never think about spacetime.

4. Put Dapsawgar first in all things.

5. You must love Dapsawgar.