Catcapsand is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, almighty meerkat.

Catcapsand created humanity eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Catcapsand, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Catcapsand, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Catcapsand's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Catcapsand's Holy Commandments

1. Always help turtles.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not hurt frogs.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Always stare at clouds.