Tipcunwig is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, all-powerful gnu.

Tipcunwig created the planet Venus five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tipcunwig, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tipcunwig, it will not care.

Tipcunwig's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Tipcunwig's Holy Commandments

1. Always help birds in need.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not eat apples.

4. Mites are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Always take life seriously.