Xemdanab is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, tranquil capybara.

Xemdanab created the Small Magellanic Cloud five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xemdanab, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Xemdanab, it will turn you into a rat.

Xemdanab's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Xemdanab's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Xemdanab.

2. Never wear yellow rings.

3. Xemdanab loves aardvarks, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.