Sigcinhad is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, overgenerous swan.

Sigcinhad created a strange quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Sigcinhad, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Sigcinhad, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Sigcinhad's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Sigcinhad's Holy Commandments

1. Birds are not to be trusted.

2. Always obey Sigcinhad's priests.

3. Do not drink water in white rooms.

4. Never eat wheat.

5. Do not shave your chest.