Sakjipbesstarphapquam is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, dishonest hedgehog.

Sakjipbesstarphapquam created a strange quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Sakjipbesstarphapquam, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Sakjipbesstarphapquam, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Sakjipbesstarphapquam's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Sakjipbesstarphapquam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in magenta.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snails.

4. Do not speak about oranges.

5. Never leap in the presence of bats.